A Perfect Mormon Boy.

Was I the perfect Mormon boy? No. I wasn’t of pioneer lineage, I wasn’t born in Utah, and I didn’t graduate from seminary. But there I was, on a mission.

Perfection is an unattainable goal in this life, yet within Mormon culture, the pursuit of it is subtly encouraged through persistent teachings and a celebration of the “perfect” journey.

Like a Boy Scout earning merit badges, thoroughout my early life I found myself ticking off items on my list to become another “perfect” Mormon boy.

Birth

“… having been born of goodly parents…” - 1 Nephi 1:1

In Mormonism, there exists a sort of pedigree, a “purebred” Mormon of sorts. Amongst insiders this term is affectionately known as being of “Pioneer Lineage.” These initial pioneers were the early followers of Joseph Smith and some of the first to set the foundation of the church. They often crossed the United States and were the original settlers of the religions permanent home in Utah.
Now, the descendants of this early Pioneers are the ones born in the covenant of the Church within the Salt Lake Valley to two active and honorable church-following parents. It’s something that you’re simply born into.

Eight

At the age of eight, a perfect Mormon boy faces a pivotal choice: to follow the legacy of his ancestors who traversed treacherous plains and jagged mountains to settle in Salt Lake City and be baptized, becoming an official member of the Mormon religion; or to forge his own path. Whilst one path brings praise, acceptance and a sense of belonging while the other brings potential embarrassment and ostracizing by not following the directive of those who gave up so much before you to give you the life you have today. For an eight-year-old, the choice seems obvious.

Twelve Years Old

By twelve, a boy is considered a young man, stepping into early leadership roles within the church. He begins to take on responsibilities, learning the duties that mark the early stages of manhood in the faith. A training ground of sorts, to become a future leader within the organization and learning how to lead.

14-18 Years Old: Seminary

Seminary is an early morning class with church lessons that, in Utah, is somewhat integrated into the public school system that can be scheduled just like any other class. Outside of Utah, it often required waking at 5:30 a.m. to drive half an hour to 45 minutes to a local congregation. Then 6:15 to 7:15am every morning, one would absorb lessons before heading back to school. This ritual continued for all four years of high school, culminating in a seminary diploma, serving as a foundation for the perfect Mormon boy.

19 Years Old

At nineteen, the pressure of perfection intensifies. In Mormon culture, serving a mission is seen as a rite of passage and an unspoken requirement. If a boy does not go as soon as he comes of age, there’s a sense that something is wrong. Congregations may begin to chatter as to why he hasn’t left yet.

To embody the ideal, a perfect Mormon boy departs for his mission as soon as possible after turning nineteen. Serving for two years, he returns honorably and ideally attends Brigham Young University, where he meets the perfect Mormon girl—who has been waiting for a returned missionary.

Marriage quickly follows, and the cycle begins anew with the birth of their first child.

Was I the perfect Mormon boy? No. I wasn’t of pioneer lineage, I wasn’t born in Utah, and I didn’t graduate from seminary. But I was there, on a mission, striving to embody the ideals of the perfect Mormon boy, hoping that my efforts were enough.